One Family's Decision

First off, great topic! Also, I like that everyone tells how it was their own family decision... not that everyone who reads this home schools in the official sense. And in our case, we even, at present, use the public school.

It seems that the two before me had it a bit easier in this decision process. Maybe not. Maybe they have only shared a little. However, my struggle was more than just questions and, in fact, was brought about with serious emotional battles. Not to say that education is emotional (though for some it can be) but rather the steps to making our decision were agonizing!

We, too, did the research. We, too, asked all the questions and then some. We even tracked down individuals who went through various schoolings who were like our children (gifted - at least so far). Let me back up just a minute... when our first was born, we both were in favor of Home Schooling mostly because of our realization that society's standards were far below our own. However, as my husband finished schooling to become a teacher, he saw many of the good sides of public school. Let's face it, there is no perfect educational environment for all children. But rather, there is a perfect (or near perfect) solution for each child. This opened a window for me to explore the various schooling options. However, my husband made another realization which set him fully on public school. That was: the more children we had, the less of my time I could devote to teaching them and giving them each that individual time... let alone the house work.

When Gabi taught herself to read in one week (when given the resources), I knew that public school would not be the answer. We had (just before this) moved to a small town where she would have been 1 of 4 students in her class. She would have been able to have a special instruction with her teacher (larger classes don't allow for this because of the time demands on the teacher). However, our school was told they could no longer have a kindergarten class and that those students would be bused 8 minutes away to be combined with another group. This happened after we had registered her... and discovered that kindergarten screening had nothing to do with reading, coloring, speech, math, names, addresses, etc.

Two weeks into the school year, we are told we needed to consider skipping our daughter. The only real answer academically, yet putting her with kids (we're talking up to two grades) who are bigger than her... and she is small for her age. This is when the struggle and unease went into full blown crisis... for lack of a better word.

Her school and teachers are trying to work with her. However, she's missing part of one class to get another or not having a class at all one day because it doesn't work with her normal class schedule. Thus the downside to a small district comes into play.

In the end, through much prayer and much divine guidance (helping us find the information and the people to talk with), we have decided to home school. As the next two children have already shown these same signs of giftedness (and one a little more so), this decision, for now, is for all our children. But because Gabi was already in school, we decided to let her choose whether to start in January or in September. She chose September. But, when she's home, she continues to demand to be taught (something she's done since birth) and the others have already begun.

That is our journey... but the following are our reasons (in no particular order):

1. Gifted children do not get the support in public schools that other children do because of laws that won't allow teachers to fully accommodate them. Even gifted plans do not begin before 2nd grade and typically not until at least 3rd grade. Even those plans are limited by law.

2. ATTITUDE! When my children are home (including Gabi) the dynamic is loving. They try to be nice (but they are siblings) and they are more helpful. The words they use are in keeping with gospel standards. And the way they say them as well. When Gabi is in school for 1.5 weeks, her attitude drops. She's a different, mean, rude, and bossy child. It only gets worse as the time goes on. When school is not in session, transitioning back to her normal self takes two or three days. But having her back is great!

3. Gospel Study. Gabi loves to read her scriptures. But finding the time to do it is difficult when she is in school. When she comes home, she only wants "free time" because she's tired of the schedule. And I don't have the time to sit with her and help her understand because it's the late afternoon when kids are screaming and hungry as I try to get dinner ready.

4. Language. We have been studying ASL since Gabi was a baby. This is not offered in school. And, in a small district, neither is Spanish which we want to expose our children to because this is the language my husband teaches, and used on his mission.

5. FAMILY TIME! Gabi is one of the lucky ones as far as time away from home for public school. She's the last one picked up and the third one dropped off. She's gone 7 hours a day. When she has homework, then her afternoon is gone. Then it's dinner time. Then it's bedtime. No room for an occassional stay up late night for the family to spend time together.

6. LEARNING IS FUN! Since birth, my children have felt learning to be fun! They are eager to learn. They want to excel. But we've always allowed them to learn what they want, when they want. We encourage and allow them to read when they want to. Right now, in school, Gabi HAS to read whenever the rest of the class is doing something that is too easy for her. That's, as she put it, "almost all the time" She had learned to hate reading. She wouldn't even pick up a book to read for herself, let alone to her brothers or sister. She wants to learn about volcanoes, dinosaurs, stars, write a book... things that most kindergarteners don't get to do. (They did help her make a volcano, but that was all)

7. Values and Principles. Children are impressionable... for good or bad. My husband held the theory that putting them out in the world at five was like a vaccination. Let them hear and see from the other kids while we could still correct them at home. This works for some people. However, there is no harm in providing a secure environment to teach these things as the primary example for them. As one lady put it (and I'm paraphrasing), it's not that home schooling parents do it any better than public schooling parents. Rather, they just have more time to re-enforce good principles.

8. FAMILY UNITY! The more time my children spend together, the more friendly they are to each other. They call each other their best friends. They play together, learn together, teach together, and love together. This family unity is of great importance to me. Knowing that our family is forever, I want us to WANT to be together, instead of feeling STUCK with each other.


9. My selfish reason...INDIVIDUAL TIME WITH MY KIDS! I know that sounds ridiculous... mother of four, home schooling all, dad works full time and more... but really, it's my selfish reason. I use to envy my husband because whenever a child would get "one-on-one" time, it was with him. I wanted that too. I wanted to build those relationships like that as well. When we started really home schooling, I noticed that the children stopped fighting over who got my time and attention. They were willing to let me work with each one separately. They learned to take turns with me... knowing that they would also get a turn. We build a separate and individual relationship in addition to working on our formal education.

So, that's it... in a not so little nut shell. But, with all that being said. I must admit that if the opportunity were to ever arise for me to give my children an education that I could not duplicate and which would be wholesome and good, then I would not hesitate to do it. Even if this meant moving, or public school, or exchange, or whatever.

My reason

Thanks for bringing this topic up...My reasons are well kinda selfish at first...My big girl is just 3yrs old. I already feel like so much of her life has gone by (her life with me) and as much as I wouldn't put her in daycare and miss out on her growing up, I have no desire to send her away to school for 6-8 hrs a day and allow them to see her growing/learning and I miss being a primary educator (and learner, as I wholeheartedly believe she will teach me as much as I teach her). I am not ready to miss her. I am not ready for someone else to decide for my daughter what will be important for her to learn and what wont. I am not ready for her to learn her values from conversations at school (or peers). I am not ready for her to be told she is not smart in the way they measure it.
On the other hand I am ready for her to love being with her family. I am ready for her to excel in learning and actually believe it is fun, instead of a dreadful thing to be nervous about (TEST). I am ready for her to grow in her understanding and appreciation of the world. I am ready to watch my baby grow, learn, fall and pick her self back up, struggle and succeed. I am ready to watch her teach her younger siblings some of the things she has learned without thinking they are too young or not in her "grade" so they wont get it. I am ready to watch my daughter learn values based on our faith in God, His Son, as well as faith in our fellow men (seeing the best in others).
I am her mother. I know her better than anyone. And atleast with my oldest, she is a spitting image of me (in personality and learning) and when I think about how different my view of education would have been had I been HS, well lets just say it would not have taken me till College (lucky I even made it too college) to learn that educating myself could be fun. It cost alot of money to learn that simple lesson.
I am not perfect. There are days when I am outta sorts and her education suffers abit. I dont even know how to teach certain subjects (like geometry) as I myself still do not understand what my teachers were trying to teach me. We will learn together. There will be many moments when she gets it before me and can learn it even better by having to teach her poor old mom something.
We tend to forget that public schools have not been around that long. They are an experiment too.The thing that has been around the longest is homeschooling. Whether in family units or co-op type situations. And then even when public schools came around, towns were smaller. Students of all ages met in the same room. Classes were much much smaller. Teachers usually lived with a local family or where already part of the community, so teachers knew their students better and were better able to tailor their education to them and their particular goals.
The closest we will ever get to 'school' will be a Montessori type situation. They are typically not as long of a day, less structured, and geared towards individual learning. If we are ever living around one and can afford it (as it cosy Way more than HS)then we will see if any of our children our interested in trying it out. It would still never replace them being educated at home, I would just supplement what they are getting at school or help fill in the blanks if any exist.
As for the much looked forward bus ride. Still have not figured out about that. Maybe I can 'borrow' one sometime or take her on a field trip in one.
I mean, really, I rode the bus...it is not all it is cracked up to be. Some of my worst peer experiences happened on that thing.
I am excited about learning with my children. It keeps me busy and my mind active. I really can't see anything she will be missing out on.
I am thankful for a husband who supports this decision (even though he excelled in a school environment). He himself wishes he had been HS.
I look forward to our family growing closer together in this crazy world because of our time HS'ing.

What Is Your Reason?

I've been thinking alot about this lately and thought this was an appropriate place to think it out.
Some of my children would flunk in PS and some of them would thrive. Therefore, I have core reasons that are applicable to all five as well as individual reasons. Ill write about a few of each.
I have been homeschooling for almost seven years now. Throughout the years, I have seen myself change and evolve as a parent and as a teacher....always seeking to balance the two.
When we first moved here, Caleb was five, had been to a great preschool in Utah and was excited about riding the bus. He was unaware of the struggle that we were having concerning his education. I had been thinking about HS since he was born. But like everyone, I struggled with the typical questions. Can I give him what he needs? Do I have what it takes? Will it ruin or strengthen our relationship? Will he be missing out? What about all of the good things about PS? Will I be able to adequatley prepare him for mission/college/life out in the big world? My resources are limited, what about exposing him to things I know nothing about? What if he misses his calling in life because he never found out what he really enjoys? What if he falls behind....everyone will say "it's because he is homeschooled." (As if that never happens in PS.) What will my inlaws think? We live in a sheltered community, isn't homeschooling going to make that worse? What am I going to do when he gets smarter than me? Will he resent me when he is grown-up? And many, many more. I've thought about them all. Every good parent has asked themselves similar questions based on the decisions they make for their own children.
Innitialy, the bases of my decision was as simple as this: I didn't think he was ready for all day kindergarten, and I certainly wasn't ready for him to be away from home for eight hours every day. I don't mean "not ready" from an academic standpoint....he was doing all the normal stuff (and then some.) I was afraid that he wouldn't get the stimulation he needed. I was afraid that he would be bored and turned off to learning, which is my BIGGEST fear. I feel like the PS system has a conveyor belt way of "processing" students and I didn't feel like Caleb was ready to fit into their mold. Which we all know, if they don't fit, they don't succeed. I feel this way even today. Caleb is not a "traditional learner." Maybe that's because I believe so strongly in "child innitiated learning," so much of the time he learns what he wants to learn. Currently his interests are birds of prey, ancient Egypt, skiing, Legos, (well, that one is constant) the human body and algebra. We will persue these subjects until he has had enough, moved on or loses interest....whatever you want to call it. I'm not sure he would be permitted to learn this way in PS. I apply this same technique to each of my children. They are individuals. I am a firm believer that if they learn it (meaning anything) when they want to learn it, they retain it. For example, each of my children learned to read at different ages. One was six, the next one was five, the third has just recently learned to read (also six) and the fourth one is four and learning to read. (we use the book "Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lesons"). I have taught them all when they asked to learn. I don't believe in dumbing them down and I don't believe in pushing them too hard. It is a tricky balance that I feel only a mother can acheive. At home, there are no learning standards, pressure to succeed or the government looking over our shoulder. We learn in freedom.
I understand that Lauren will eventually plateau and be even with her peers. Just because she learns to read at age four doesn't mean that she will always be ahead of her game. I've read all the studies. However....that does NOT mean I should hold her back (or dumb her down) if she is currently thrilled about being empowered to read! Learning is fun and exiting. Many of us have developed a resentment toward learning because we went through the PS system. And many of us have had to wait until we are adults to learn how enjoyable learning really is. Think about how much further ahead we would all be if we were never taught that learning was uncool, boring or nerdy. Now.....I know that not everyone had the same, rotten experience in PS that I had. I also know that things have "changed" (for better or worse, depending on who you ask).
At this pont in my career as a homeschooling Mom, my reasons are different. I am still evolving and have much to learn. I really enjoy it, they really enjoy it, it is working for us, the Lord has let me know that this is the right thing for our family and at this point there is no reason to change course.
Just to be fair and objective, we revisit this decision every year, with every child. It also helps me feel less intimidated if I remind myself that we are doing this one year at a time.
The first year was the hardest, second was better. Now we are in a "groove" and I feel like I have a pretty good handle on our educational persuits. The Lord has blessed us so much and continues to do so.
We will carry on.
So tell me.....What is your reason?
KKS

Package

Well my package from RainbowResources has arrived. I got up early this morning just to look through the workbooks ordered. I can already tell that Liliana and I will love the Rod & Staff Bible stories (preschool age) package. It comes with like 6-7 books covering different skills, as well as an actual bible story for the parent to read with the child each day (and a page to color that goes along with each story). It is meant to educate and teach values, a good combo in my mind. I believe the pack cost 18.00 or so for the whole set one would need with a pre-k child.
I also ordered a fun card game that I would recommend. It is called "Sequence Rummy". It is flash card size deck of cards that you have to put in the right sequence, you can also play rummy with it once you are a little older child. It was like $2.00.
They threw in one of their catalogs, which took up half of the shipping box it is so huge. Do not know when I will have time to look through that but am excited to have it around for reference.
Anyway, I am just excited about playing (learning) with my child.

Music To Enrich Young Ones

Hey, I meant to tell everyone of another wonderful gift our children (Beth and Peter) received for their birthdays a couple of weeks ago. For anyone who is interested in various styles of music, but with a wonderful kid twist, you'll like these!

Jazz For Kids put out by Verve Records which has all jazz but done with songs like "Old McDonald" and "Aint Nobody Here But us Chickens"

World Playground put out by Putumayo Kids which brings you music from such countries as Senegal, Greece, Israel, Congo, and many more. This one even comes with the words to all the songs.

Anyway, lots of fun... lots of cultural diversity ...and the kids love them!

Pattern Blocks

We now have a set of pattern blocks (thanks to a birthday present for one of the kids). We also have a set of the pattern shape cards for grades 2-6. Our children are not that old yet, but even Jeremy could do the easier ones. Gabi liked to work with the ones that are just the full outline, all white inside. And we challenged Beth to use only certain colors (not the colors shown - having already figured out that it would work with the new colors)! She loved this, as she's our little puzzler. We also challenged the kids to make certain shapes, seeing how many of one design they could create.

We've not really sat down to use them for actual math related concepts... at least not in teaching format... but we'll get there. Right now they are just having fun.