One Family's Decision

First off, great topic! Also, I like that everyone tells how it was their own family decision... not that everyone who reads this home schools in the official sense. And in our case, we even, at present, use the public school.

It seems that the two before me had it a bit easier in this decision process. Maybe not. Maybe they have only shared a little. However, my struggle was more than just questions and, in fact, was brought about with serious emotional battles. Not to say that education is emotional (though for some it can be) but rather the steps to making our decision were agonizing!

We, too, did the research. We, too, asked all the questions and then some. We even tracked down individuals who went through various schoolings who were like our children (gifted - at least so far). Let me back up just a minute... when our first was born, we both were in favor of Home Schooling mostly because of our realization that society's standards were far below our own. However, as my husband finished schooling to become a teacher, he saw many of the good sides of public school. Let's face it, there is no perfect educational environment for all children. But rather, there is a perfect (or near perfect) solution for each child. This opened a window for me to explore the various schooling options. However, my husband made another realization which set him fully on public school. That was: the more children we had, the less of my time I could devote to teaching them and giving them each that individual time... let alone the house work.

When Gabi taught herself to read in one week (when given the resources), I knew that public school would not be the answer. We had (just before this) moved to a small town where she would have been 1 of 4 students in her class. She would have been able to have a special instruction with her teacher (larger classes don't allow for this because of the time demands on the teacher). However, our school was told they could no longer have a kindergarten class and that those students would be bused 8 minutes away to be combined with another group. This happened after we had registered her... and discovered that kindergarten screening had nothing to do with reading, coloring, speech, math, names, addresses, etc.

Two weeks into the school year, we are told we needed to consider skipping our daughter. The only real answer academically, yet putting her with kids (we're talking up to two grades) who are bigger than her... and she is small for her age. This is when the struggle and unease went into full blown crisis... for lack of a better word.

Her school and teachers are trying to work with her. However, she's missing part of one class to get another or not having a class at all one day because it doesn't work with her normal class schedule. Thus the downside to a small district comes into play.

In the end, through much prayer and much divine guidance (helping us find the information and the people to talk with), we have decided to home school. As the next two children have already shown these same signs of giftedness (and one a little more so), this decision, for now, is for all our children. But because Gabi was already in school, we decided to let her choose whether to start in January or in September. She chose September. But, when she's home, she continues to demand to be taught (something she's done since birth) and the others have already begun.

That is our journey... but the following are our reasons (in no particular order):

1. Gifted children do not get the support in public schools that other children do because of laws that won't allow teachers to fully accommodate them. Even gifted plans do not begin before 2nd grade and typically not until at least 3rd grade. Even those plans are limited by law.

2. ATTITUDE! When my children are home (including Gabi) the dynamic is loving. They try to be nice (but they are siblings) and they are more helpful. The words they use are in keeping with gospel standards. And the way they say them as well. When Gabi is in school for 1.5 weeks, her attitude drops. She's a different, mean, rude, and bossy child. It only gets worse as the time goes on. When school is not in session, transitioning back to her normal self takes two or three days. But having her back is great!

3. Gospel Study. Gabi loves to read her scriptures. But finding the time to do it is difficult when she is in school. When she comes home, she only wants "free time" because she's tired of the schedule. And I don't have the time to sit with her and help her understand because it's the late afternoon when kids are screaming and hungry as I try to get dinner ready.

4. Language. We have been studying ASL since Gabi was a baby. This is not offered in school. And, in a small district, neither is Spanish which we want to expose our children to because this is the language my husband teaches, and used on his mission.

5. FAMILY TIME! Gabi is one of the lucky ones as far as time away from home for public school. She's the last one picked up and the third one dropped off. She's gone 7 hours a day. When she has homework, then her afternoon is gone. Then it's dinner time. Then it's bedtime. No room for an occassional stay up late night for the family to spend time together.

6. LEARNING IS FUN! Since birth, my children have felt learning to be fun! They are eager to learn. They want to excel. But we've always allowed them to learn what they want, when they want. We encourage and allow them to read when they want to. Right now, in school, Gabi HAS to read whenever the rest of the class is doing something that is too easy for her. That's, as she put it, "almost all the time" She had learned to hate reading. She wouldn't even pick up a book to read for herself, let alone to her brothers or sister. She wants to learn about volcanoes, dinosaurs, stars, write a book... things that most kindergarteners don't get to do. (They did help her make a volcano, but that was all)

7. Values and Principles. Children are impressionable... for good or bad. My husband held the theory that putting them out in the world at five was like a vaccination. Let them hear and see from the other kids while we could still correct them at home. This works for some people. However, there is no harm in providing a secure environment to teach these things as the primary example for them. As one lady put it (and I'm paraphrasing), it's not that home schooling parents do it any better than public schooling parents. Rather, they just have more time to re-enforce good principles.

8. FAMILY UNITY! The more time my children spend together, the more friendly they are to each other. They call each other their best friends. They play together, learn together, teach together, and love together. This family unity is of great importance to me. Knowing that our family is forever, I want us to WANT to be together, instead of feeling STUCK with each other.


9. My selfish reason...INDIVIDUAL TIME WITH MY KIDS! I know that sounds ridiculous... mother of four, home schooling all, dad works full time and more... but really, it's my selfish reason. I use to envy my husband because whenever a child would get "one-on-one" time, it was with him. I wanted that too. I wanted to build those relationships like that as well. When we started really home schooling, I noticed that the children stopped fighting over who got my time and attention. They were willing to let me work with each one separately. They learned to take turns with me... knowing that they would also get a turn. We build a separate and individual relationship in addition to working on our formal education.

So, that's it... in a not so little nut shell. But, with all that being said. I must admit that if the opportunity were to ever arise for me to give my children an education that I could not duplicate and which would be wholesome and good, then I would not hesitate to do it. Even if this meant moving, or public school, or exchange, or whatever.